My Experiences During Hitler's Régime
I was born on the 6th May 1893 as the second child of the Merchant, Max Friedländer and his wife Jenny née Elias in Osterode/East Prussia. My parents were both full Jews. At the time, I had an elder sister, Betty, and a younger brother, Hugo.
As far as is known to me from transcripts and documents, the Friedländer family has lived in Friedland/East Prussia since 1725, which can be ascertained from a letter of naturalisation of the same year.
My ancestors came from Sweden to Friedland via the eastern Provinces and settled there as Miliners.
My parents’ went to Braunsberg/East Prussia, where I attended the grammar school up to sub-tertiary level. Then, we resettled in Königsberg, where I completed the middle school. I completed an apprenticeship as a Merchant in Braunsberg/East Prussia.
In 1915, I was enlisted into the Black Hussars going to Langfuhr. As I did not feel like serving for 3 years, I voluntarily enlisted in the newly formed Machine Gun Company in Königsberg. This was, however, false speculation. Instead of the ‘only two years’ hoped for, the war years of 1914-19 resulted, out of which I was discharged in May 1919 as Sergeant.
In 1922, I ended up in Berlin, where I opened an electric lamp factory. Even during these days, I noticed anti-semitism.
Already, there were pogroms in the Grenadierstraße, where mostly Polish Jews resided. During this time, we were young Jews in the Reichsfederation of Jewish Frontline Soldiers (RJF in German) and it was possible for us to prevent some acts of violence with SPD, German Socialist Party members, as watch there.
After the ringing in of the pogroms, we boys in the RJF consented to take a course of training from the police master in Jiu Jitsu, Erich Rahn. I stayed with this sport and became middleweight master in Berlin in 1928 and Brandenburg in 1929.
During this time, a nice little thing happened. In the Potsdamer Straße opposite the then Huth Winehouse the pavement had been torn up. A single plank circa 5 metres long had been laid over the hole. Below, two labourers were working.
I found myself directly in the middle of the plank, when a man walked onto the other end- approximately 25 years old and taller than me by a head. He shouted at me “Make way Jew! Get back! I want to cross!”
As I halted on the plank, he came towards me and I saw that he had made a fist in order to strike me. I quickly went up to him and performed a Jiu Jitsu handlock, whereupon he shot over the trench into the gutter.
The Labourers laughed and said “Look! You picked on the wrong one there!” He quickly stood up and ran away from the laughter of the onlookers.
In 1928, I was employed as First Salesperson at the Lindemann Company in Potsdam and soon became Sub-Agent and Purchaser. Lindemann’s subsequently became part of the Karstadt and EPA Group of companies.
On the 1st January 1932, I was sent as Managing Director by the Partner of the Group, Herr Ploschitzki, to his own company F A Krell & Co., Annaberg in the Harz Mountains.
In the same year, I married Christine, who converted to Judaism. In Annaberg, anti-semitism was already highly palpable and we could often hear the SA song ‘Wenn Judenblut vom Messer spritzt’.
On the 1st July 1932, I was transferred to Plauen into the EPA organisation, as Herr Ploschitzki died and his wife dissolved the company. Even in Plauen, the mood was already very radical. We were often witness to arguments, at which Nazis and Communists came together against SPD members.
At the beginning of 1933, I was transferred to the newly opened EPA branch in Königsberg/East Prussia and travelled through Berlin just on the day of the burning of the Reichstag.
In Königsberg, it was at this time already very bad for us, and I was only happy to be with my parents’ and my brother.
During the first days being there, my brother asked me for advice. In January, he took in a seaman’s-chest for safekeeping from his future brother-in-law, allegedly only for a few days. Despite reminders, the chest was not collected. I made my brother aware of the fact that his brother-in-law was a member of the German Communist Party, the KPD, and he would have trouble as a result. He then burned the chest with its contents.
The month of May dealt me a heavy blow. My father died. He had been lying in hospital for 14 days and on the evening of his discharge he was given an injection, and at midnight, he passed away. The whole matter seemed very dubious to me then, but you couldn’t do anything about it.
During this time, the dismissal of Jewish employees happened. The ordinary Jewish employees were all dismissed. At the 52 branches of EPA, 160 Jewish gentlemen in higher positions were allowed to remain by reason of the fact they had taken part in the First World War.
Soon, even this number was too high and only 5% were permitted. That was 7 gentlemen, amongst which I found myself.
It would, perhaps, have been better, if I had been immediately dismissed, as a very difficult period now came.
At EPA, I was exposed to major harassment. As soon as a high-ranking Nazi visited Königsberg, the flag was hoisted, and I was not allowed to be seen on the shopfloor and had to work in the cellar. Most of the bullying I had to put up with was from the Works Representative, a Decorator.
Often enough it was that he insulted me as a Jew in front of the Sales Girls and spat in my face. He provoked me where he could, so that I would forget myself, as he had said to the others that he would get me taken away. He needed a reason to do this, as I had a good reputation with the senior management in Königsberg and at the Berlin head office, as a result of my performance.
Hardly a day passed where there were no brawls and beatings on the upper storeys of EPA. He particularly had it in for me, but I could not escape the attacks, save for a few small incidents.
In order to bar all help to me in this matter, an SA man (with 3 stars on his collar) was employed as Supervisor, via the assistance of the Company’s Representative. As I heard this, my heart finally fell into my stomach, as it could only signify my end. He came, although in plain clothes, but with a large party badge. Who on Earth could have described my astonishment when he turned out to be an old school-friend, who I greatly respected.
It really was divine providence and very very often I still felt God’s hand, which saved me from the worst.
Now, I had no further problems with the Company’s Representative; he was later arrested, because he had embezzled party funds. Nevertheless, I tried to emigrate, but everything failed. My Palestine plan failed, because I was not in a Zionist organisation. Even assembling settlements in French Guyana through the Rothschilds’ was unsuccessful. This meant continuing to wait. Here, again, a small episode occurred which shined favourably upon the situation as it then was.
As I had gone to school in Königsberg and also worked as a Salesman there, likewise, having also spent my military service there, I was very well known.
One day, I was on my way home from EPA for lunch when a large SA squad came round the corner with a swastika flag. It was impossible for me to disappear into any of the houses. Suddenly, an SA man came up to me from the squad and struck me round the ear and said “Will you salute the flag, you filthy Jew?” As I then stood there with a raised hand, the last man came out of the SA squad again and struck me again round the ear and said “You shitty Jew! You’ll lower your hand…, you’ll insult our flag otherwise!” I was really glad that the procession was not longer.
On the 25.11.1934, my son, Manfred, was born and we brought him up in the Jewish faith.
On the 4.12.35, arianisation had been completed, even for us Jews in EPA, and I was immediately placed on leave until 31.01.36. I had, in effect, six months notice and, out of decency, however, I was paid my salary for 3 months with the advice that they were no longer obliged to do this. Now, I accepted any form of work offered to me.., from Managing Director, Supervisor, and Salesman to Furniture Transporter, Electrical Assembler, or pumping out cellars.
During this time, my former boss, Herr Hans Lindemann, visited me and enquired whether I felt like going to Abyssinia. He wanted to open a warehouse there. I accepted and he wrote to me that I would have to move to his sister’s in Milan for six months to a year to learn the Italian language. In order to earn something during this time, I was to give Jiu Jitsu lessons in the local clubs there. As my wife did not want to be left alone with our child, this plan also fell through.
I then tried to get permission to resettle in Berlin on the 15th April. I heard that it was quicker to emigrate from there.
On the 26.03.1937, a written notice was brought to me by an SA man ordering me to vacate my apartment immediately. We could only take a few suitcases with the bare essentials.
In Berlin we were lucky and soon had a 2 room apartment at 36 Strubergerstraβe. It was not a very decent house, but we could see that it was not yet as bad in Berlin as it was in Kőnigsberg. I immediately registered with the Jewish Mission for a course of retraining as Ironer and took a 3 month course. Again, I was lucky and was able to begin on the 1st July at a Christian Tailor’s, where I earned good money as Junior Ironer.
My wife, as a skilled and very good Senior Handsewer, also immediately had work.
In March 1938, I had to leave my Tailor again, as he was not allowed to employ any more Jews.
On the morning of the 2nd April 1938, at 6am, the doorbell rang and two members of the Criminal Investigation Police were standing at the door with a search warrant. After a futile search, I was arrested and taken to the well-known Gestapo cellar in the Prinz-Albrechtstraβe. I franticly considered why I had been arrested. As I had shortly beforehand begun to prepare to flee to Hungary, I initially assumed it was because of that. The illegal passport station for this escape route had, in the meantime, been broken up. As I had still not paid any money, my name still did not appear in the records.
I learned only too soon, what it was all about. The Gestapo had arrested my brother only the day before, in connection with the chest with the German Communist Party contents mentioned at the beginning and he had admitted that I was present at the burning of the papers. I was, thus, accused of aiding and abetting high treason. I was interrogated, which was not without beating and kicking. Then I was locked in isolation (3 steps long and 1.5 steps wide). I explained that I was not present at the burning of the papers, that my brother had only said to me that he had burnt them. Naturally, they did not believe me. My brother admitted that he had shown me an instruction manual on machine guns at the burning. Even my mother had mentioned my brother as a witness. She also explained that her son had told her he had burned the chest, but that she, too, was not there. She was held there from morning until evening, they did nothing to her, as she was already 71 years old. I was then put together with my brother a few days later, who looked really beaten up. He was also beaten in my presence, as he constantly contradicted himself. This meeting lasted around four hours. It was repeated a few times.
During this whole time, I was in the small isolation cell. For one hour a day, you were allowed into the courtyard, hands on your back and two steps away from the man in front; you went ‘for a stroll’. Speaking with each other was strictly forbidden. About the other forms of treatment we need not talk about…., beatings and kickings were on the agenda. Abuse such as “Dirty shitty Jew!” was the colloquial speech.
I was released on the 1st October 1938, as my involvement in the affair could not be proven. My brother received 3 years in prison, which he served, convicted and remained thereafter in Tegel under police supervision.
On the 9th November 1942, he was deported to Poland. I’ve never heard anything from him since.
Now, I attempted to find work again. At the Jewish-Polish Coordinators’ Office, I found employment. My earnings got ever worse and after Kristallnacht, there was no more work for us. Now, I decided to cross the border illegally with a Jew I knew and go to Holland. At the end of November we were there. My wife had worked with Dutch people and these bosses had promised us support. They resided in Amsterdam. This time, I wanted to go alone, because it was too demanding for a woman and child to run through the woods and fields and I wanted to make a request for her from Amsterdam.
With my acquaintance, I travelled by train to Cologne. We acquired a good ticket from its environs and travelled with the narrow-gauge railway until we got close to the border.
It was set up in such a way that we hoped to cross the border between 12 and 2 o’clock.
As we travelled out of Berlin, it was around 2 degrees below zero. In Cologne it was minus 10 degrees with about half a metre of snow. However, it became colder and colder in the clear weather at night.
We could, however, no longer go back, as it would appear conspicuous if we sought accommodation in this small village at so late an hour.
During this night, the thermometer fell to 25 degrees below zero and we only hoped that the cordon through would not be as tight.
I had a small compass on my watch and determined the direction. The compass was, however, absolutely no good to us in the woods as our torches no longer worked and we had no matches with us.
Now, we were happy to have a clear night sky above us and we found our way once more by the ‘Great Bear’ and the ‘Southern Cross’. It was bitterly cold, but as we were running quickly and out of fear, we did not notice the cold as much.
We had been running for 5 hours already and it was around 12 midnight, when we heard the barking of dogs behind us. We ran into a young part of the forest and hid, but it served no purpose. The dogs picked-up our scent and the Border Guards soon found us. We had to go back until we got to a large building in the woods. There, our personal details were written down, we were asked many times whether we had any money. Very wisely for us, we had none and we said so. It was of no use…, we had to take our shirts off and were searched. Even our rucksacks were rummaged through. In the lower section, I had my shaving brush, a 5 Mark piece, but they did not find them.
At the interrogation, we told the truth that we were Jews wanting to get to Holland, but we were still not believed, because we were really without money.
I gave them the address of the Dutch man in Amsterdam. They then went in and asked Berlin first of all whether we had anything outstanding.
Around 3 o’clock, they took us by the shortest route to the border and said “be aware, that if you both come back or get sent back, you’ll both go to a concentration camp! For sure! Now run!” And how we ran! As they short at us! We ran until we could do so no more, then we threw ourselves in the snow and crawled on until we got to a haystack, where we took a breather for around 5 minutes, in order to them go further.
To give in to tiredness and to rest would have meant certain death. We then came upon a small path in the field and were in a small village after 2 hours.
In a cow byre, where milking was in progress, we asked the farmer’s wife whether we could rest awhile in the warm byre. As we told her everything, she took us into the cabin and gave us hot milk and something to eat. She even gave us some money, so that we could get across the river and described the way exactly, that we had to take. But, we should be aware of the police! The Queen had ordered that all refugees should be sent back. The flow of refugees had become too great.
We got to the river successfully and had avoided going through villages. We even successfully avoided the police, as they rode on bikes.
Around midday, we went round a large village and had to go past a small farmstead, in order to get to the path. Just at that moment, a policeman saw us, who was on business there. He arrested us and took us to the Mayor. He questioned us! Then, he gave us a good lunch, but told us immediately that we would have to return. No amount of crying and wailing helped.
As nothing helped any longer, we asked that he should, at least, take us to a spot in the woods at the border, so that we did not fall into the hands of the Gestapo, as, otherwise, we would end up in a concentration camp. This, he promised us. We were given a good supper and were collected at 7 o’clock by the Border Guards. We were taken by car the 25 kilometres back and after one of the Border Guards was convinced that no German had seen us, he took us a little way into the woods and gave us directions. We then ran all through the night without meeting any Gestapo and arrival in the morning at the same village from which we had set out days before.
We travelled back to Cologne on the narrow-gauge railway, where the 5 marks I kept hidden came in handy. In Cologne, I sent a telegram to my wife she should send me 50 Marks. When the money came, I had to buy a pair of shoes immediately, as my feet were frost-bitten. I had to cut up the shoes. The nails were completely blue.
When I got to Berlin, my wife had already sold part of the furniture. As my feet were to a certain extent O.K. once more and heavy snow fell, I worked as a snow-shoveller. Afterwards, I reported to the Jewish Mission for retraining in Land, Forestry and Agricultural Chemistry in Neuendorf near Berlin for the purpose of emigrating to Mindernao in the Philippines. I had to live there too.
We were taught in the practical and theoretical aspects of agriculture. Trees were felled, sawn up; we learned to stack and sort them. We had to attend a chemistry school at the same time. As I graduated with the grade ‘very good’ and left with 15 families as Trainer, the war with Russia had broken out…, this way through was blocked!!!
I then travelled back to Berlin and got 2½ ship passages to Shanghai. But even these I could no longer use…,there was a war!!
It ought not to have been, as everything that I had done with regard to emigration, had failed.
Now, the forced labour started again. Through the Labour Exchange, I was sent to a roadworks and demolition company (Fountain-Promenade!). We had to undertake heavy roadworks like.., break up paving stones, shift sand and stone and bring the Stonelayers stone. I did not think much of the work, but there were Workmates amongst us, who literally collapsed as a result.
When the first bombs fell, we had to turn down the heavy hit houses, whereupon many accidents occurred.
With 6 other Jews, I was transferred to really heavy labour at Kronprinzenufer, the Crown-Prince Embankment on the river Spree. A ramp was constructed there and we had to load the barges anchoring below with rubble. It was very heavy and also very dangerous work, to which we were driven to in particular.
Made nervous through haste, one of our co-workers opened the side wall of the barge too early, when I was on the ramp. I was buried in the falling rubble and fell into the barge 10 metres below.
I was taken to the Charité Hospital nearby in an ambulance, with bruising, splinters and blood loss to both legs, broken ribs and a hernia on both sides, where both legs were put in plaster and I was told that I should remain at home for 6 weeks, as I needed to heal, as there was no room for Jews at the moment.
The fracture wasn’t too bad, as I could have it operated upon later. With the fall, I had knocked out 4 teeth in my upper jaw…, but, despite it all, I was glad that I had come off easy. I certainly had that to thank to my trained body.
After my legs had thoroughly healed, I had the fracture operated upon in the Jewish Hospital.
In winter 1941, The Gestapo began to put my wife under pressure to divorce me. They explained to her that they would put me and our son into a concentration camp otherwise, as I had been seriously tainted by the trial of my brother and the accusation of high treason.
In order to avoid all further measures, I consented and prepared for my illegal status, as I had got to know the Gestapo sufficiently well.
My wife was required as a Handsewer First Class in the military haberdashery, but, as the wife of a Jew and a member of the Jewish community, she was not allowed to work for any Arians. She also had to leave the community and be re-baptised.
On 14.01.1942, I was divorced and moved to a Jewish family at 12 Richthofenstraße, where I took an empty room. Nevertheless, with the help of an acquaintance, I continued to provide my wife with the necessaries. Mostly, we met at my mother’s in Gormannstraße in Altersheim.
On the 7.4.1942, I was transferred by the labour exchange to the Klüssendorf Machine Factory in Spandau. There, I learnt to become a Moulder and Welder and was meant to work in armaments. We were around 200 Jews and mostly had to do the night shift.
At first, the working day lasted 8 hours and later 10. It so often happened that Jews were collected from there during this time. As I was skilled and did good work, I was on a good footing with the Master and the Fitter.
The man, admittedly, wore a party badge, but it so often happened that he put a few sandwiches in my pockets at his checkpoint. I was able to stop the Fitter being involved in a theft, which had the advantage for me that I was always aware about collection and whether I was there. He never named names.
As a result of my work, I now came to the hardest and most complicated machine, but I now knew that I was indispensable on their list.
I had now been working for 5 months on the machine, which dealt with the cooling of oil with acid.
As a result of the affects of this substance, I got such heavily swollen feet, that I had to be registered sick.
I spent approximately 3 weeks in the Jewish Hospital and was to return to work on 1.3.1943.
On the 27.2.43, I had to go to the sickness fund in order to collect the sickness benefit accrued to me. I got there very early, and, as I got ready and wanted to leave the house, I saw how two uniformed police arrested a Jew with a star on the other side of the road (one of the many regulations for Jews during this time was that, from the 19th September 1941, we, as Jews, had to visibly wear the yellow star on our left breast). Immediately, I noticed there was something in the air and buttoned my jacket on the other side in order to hide the star. Whilst en route, I twice noticed the arrest of Jews. As quickly as I could, I went into the old people’s home in Gormannstraße to my mother. I then found out that quite a large operation against the Jews had started. This, for me, was the most extreme time to be illegal. I said goodbye to my mother, it was supposed to be a goodbye forever…, I ran the quickest way home, took two of the packed suitcases and disappeared.
On the other side of the road, I waited for the electric tram and saw, at that moment, a furniture van turn the corner and stop at our house. I’d done it once again at the last moment.
Illegality!! What this very word encompasses in terms of fear, angst, but aso for hope!!
My first stop was Pankow, the apartment of Herr Ali Regner, who was, because of me, already on the move.
Two other communists welcomed me, who later, by the way, hid me. Ali came after half an hour and was glad when he saw me. He had been to my apartment and had found it locked and bolted. I stayed with Ali for 6 weeks and 6 weeks in Rüdnitz near Berlin. My wife provided me with the bare essentials.
On 20.4.43, she came to me with our boy and told me that they, that is, the Gestapo, that my mother with a few other elderly ladies had been collected from the old peoples’ home the day before. The communists were still able to speak to my mother and brought me her last regards. At 76 years of age, my dear mother was taken to Theresienstadt! For the whole day long, I was unable to calm down. One night, I awoke suddenly. My thoughts were, once more, with my mother, but I noticed that I had immediately put my thoughts into rhyme. It was a five versed poem, which I repeated to myself a few times fluently.
On the next morning, it was as though everything had been swept away. I could no longer remember anything. During the next night, the same thing happened and, during the day, nothing could keep me calm. Now, I got myself paper, pen and a candle when I woke in the night.., I wrote the poem down.
My thoughts
My thoughts flutter away from me
To you, my dearest, to embrace you as you lie there
It does not matter to which place
Only that within is a slight fear
A slight fear as to how you are
At all times of the day and hours
And again, I send them on their way
However futile this trip seems
As so very futile as it stands
It is not, I hear them say loudly
They meet with the same questions
On their way to you
Undaunted everywhere, I am with you
For, no-one can restrain thought
In spirit you are with me too
And God will make everything as it ought
If God were not so universal
One could simply despair at this world
The Earth is so very heavy
Yet the spirit, it surmounts all
Another poem:
Longing
Dear little mother, you are so far away
In an unknown distance
How so very much I want you to hear
Yet one wishes not to suffer
With force you are torn away
From your issue
You are, nevertheless, of advanced age
The pain is not to be soothed
I often look inside my pain
Where does your tired body lie?
At your heart, I would gladly lay my own
And ask for your blessing
Perhaps you are already gone
And have been buried by them
And expecting you here is your son
Yet waiting in vain
With futility your son longs
For your loving arm
From the pain my heart keeps me warm
Tears flow from my eyes
Oh Lord, my God, your court
Is terrible, even on Earth!
And why must I poor wretch
Complain of this too?
Rest, my little mother, from your torment
Your spirit may surround me
And linger with me everywhere
To ease my path
What God does is done well
I will not lament about it
Mans’ doings are only a delusion
And wretched are his wants
Since this day, I have constantly been able to dress my deeply moving thoughts into verse, something which has helped me through hard hours.
When I read these poems today, and there are quite a few of them, I can then make out my earlier self, as if looking into a mirror.
After 6 weeks in Rüdnitz, I went to Siemensstadt, from there again to two other different places in Pankow and from there back again to Rüdnitz.
During the first days I was there, my wife came to me crying and told me that our son lay in hospital with a fever and that she must go back to the hospital in the morning as well because of pyelitis. We were both very depressed.
When she left, I could not keep calm and my thoughts, again, formed a poem ‘troubled’.
It slowly began to get cold. It was only possible for me to remain for a short time in Rüdnitz and already the thought had awoken that I build accommodation for myself in the woods. We then, however, came to another decision. My friend, Ali, went officially to live at my wife’s; he did not need to do military service and, with that, the enquiries of the Gestapo about me stopped and I, likewise, moved again some time later into my wife’s apartment.
It was a very dangerous undertaking, for of our 2 room apartment, we occupied only one room with use of the kitchen, as the Housing Office in 1939 had allocated us a sub-tenant, who also knew me.
We had to give the ‘Arian’ the room as an empty room and she harassed us where she could, as she would really have liked to come into possession of the apartment.
After the divorce, she could see no prospects for her plan, but living together was atrocious. I had to be all the more cautious and walked only in felt shoes. When the woman was home I was not allowed to say a word. I could only sleep during the day when the woman went to work.
At night, I would wake up and listen to the radio, whereby I would pull a heavy cover over my head and radio in order to wake my wife immediately if the warning alarm should go off and an air-raid was to be expected.
Were the aircraft to come, then everyone ran into the air-raid shelter, also our sub-tenant, Frau Rose, and I sat during this time dressed with two covers over my head in the corridor on a small footbench. In addition, the door to the wardrobe was always open and if anyone knocked, or came to visit, I disappeared into the wardrobe.
Sometimes, I sat for hours on end in the wardrobe behind the clothes. Until then, all had gone well, and I had been home for 7 weeks already. One day, my wife came home earlier and I helped her in the kitchen with potato peeling. I had just opened the kitchen door when the door in the corridor closed, when Frau Rose entered and saw me. We thought nothing other than that our final hours had struck. My wife embraced me and we cried bitterly. Frau Rose came out of her room once again, saw us sitting like that and said “Now you are both afraid that I will report you. But you can rest assured; I sympathise with Jehovah’s Witnesses’ and would look upon it as a sin, if I were to hurt a Jew”. From now on, the woman was touching and helpful whenever it was necessary. I was even allowed to go into her room when visitors came, in order not to have to sit so long in the wardrobe. Again! God had helped me!
Two months later, something happened again, where I thought of a higher authority. My son, who was at the time 9 years old, was not allowed to attend school as of mixed parentage, so I taught him mathematics at home. Suddenly, the door opened and the wife of our Air Raid Warden, who was in the party and always walked around with a big badge, Frau Lindemann, came into the room and saw me!! The door to our corridor must not have been locked properly and, as a result of vibration, jumped open. As a result, the woman had come into the apartment.
During the evening, my wife went to Frau Lindemann and asked her fervently to tell no-one of this meeting, not to her own husband as well. She, too, kept her promise and, as she knew that I had no ration coupons for food, she always put her remaining coupons through our post box on coupon day (issue of new food coupons).
On 14.8.1944, we had to survive the biggest raid to date on the Friedrichshain district. The aircraft targeted the Tiessen Machine Factory in particular, which lay 50 metres behind our house. The alarm began in the morning at 10am. I sat, as always, completely dressed in the corridor on my little footbench and drew 2 large covers over my head. Our apartment was on the first floor. A heavy bomb, in a nose dive, took our 4th floor in its entirety, the 3rd floor by half and a piece of the second floor and then took a path to the wall of our corridor (narrow side) into the neighbouring cellar, where it exploded. As a result of the massive pressure, the wall to our corridor was pushed inwards about a metre and I flew along our 6 metre long corridor and through the corridor door, which had been blown open, as a result of the pressure, into the staircase.
I quickly came to and noticed that, except for a few bruises, nothing had happened to me. At that moment, I heard how our Air Raid Warden came out of the cellar with the Assistants, in order to check the house. Quickly, I hid myself in the closet. They inspected our rooms too, closed the corridor door, and went upstairs. I put something in front of the door, so that I could not be surprised and went to the window, in order, first of all, to ascertain how it looked. The air was so full of dust, that it was hard to recognise anything properly. Gradually, I ascertained that the neighbouring property had collapsed and that our property began to burn from above. It was certain that incendiary bombs had fallen at the same time. Now, I began to make large bundles of our things, stacked them so that Ali and my wife could immediately carry them down, when they came. In the meantime, I noticed that the other occupants also began to take their things down and thought it about time to disappear. I’d grown a small beard and, in order to be unrecognisable, wore dark glasses too. In this way, I took two suitcases, two bags I hung with a belt around my neck and, as another group of people went down the stairs, I pushed myself in between and came out of the house unseen.
I ran to my next stop, Hoffmann’s, in Prenzlauer Allee, for 2 hours. It was a Tailor’s in which my wife worked. Hoffmann’s had helped on many occasions and, this time, they did everything possible. They took my wife, our son, Ali and me down into the workshop and on the next day went with all teir staff on holiday. In this way, we were completely undisturbed.
As a result of enquiries by Frau Hoffmann, my wife soon got a one room apartment at 26 Sonntagsstraße on the 3rd floor. My wife furnished the apartment to a certain extent - more like modestly - and, during the night, I again moved in. The good thing was no-one knew me here in the house and we had the apartment to ourselves. We, nevertheless, had to be very very cautious, as below and next to us lived Nazis. We had arranged that if my wife for any reason had to bring someone from work and the living room door was closed, I would lie under the bed. If the kitchen door was closed, I would be in the dining room. When I once had a heavy cold, there was once again great trouble.., no-one was allowed to hear me cough! With each coughing fit, I had to run into the bedroom and stick my head under a bedcover, in order to finish coughing. Much worse, however, were the ever more frequent air-raids and my location during this time on the third floor! Even though the house stood in a square formed block of buildings, I noticed during heavy air-raids, how the whole block shuddered. In the corridor, where I again crouched on a little bench with two covers over my head, I put a hook in the wall, and during sirens, I hung a washing line and an axe. As a result of air pressure and shuddering, the belly of the wall of our room and the oven and stove were, likewise, heavily damaged. A Stove-Fitter had to come, in order, to rectify the damage. Where could I stay? In the living room under the bed was out of the question, as the man would see me when bending down, Thus, I went into the dining room packed in two covers. Unfortunately, it was very cold on this day. The man began in the kitchen by the stove and then went into the living room. The work lasted 5 hours. During this time, I sat in the ice-cold dining room and was so frozen stiff, that afterwards, I had to be really thawed out.
From January 1945, rationing became even worse, where I only lived on 5 cold potatoes. It was a delicacy for me, when my wife brought me a black radish. Without my poems, I would never have got through this time. My nerves were totally finished. There was a large-scale raid during the day, above Berlin were 4,500 aircraft. On the 3rd floor it was uncanny, and I had the feeling of being part of an earthquake. Every moment, I had to open the Earth and swallow everything! Into our house fell 9 incendiary and explosive bombs. The latter exploded mostly in the courtyard. An incendiary bomb, however, fell through the roof, the fourth floor and 3rd floor and landed directly in a bucket put there for that reason. Naturally, a few panes of glass were out and the wall in our room had arched even more. All around our house it burned. Houses had fallen in and the whole Frankfurter Allee was a sea of flames. My wife needed three hours, in order to get home with our son from work. When we saw all 3 again healthy, we had weeping fits and a nervous breakdown. My wife wanted to taker her life with me and our child. She only survived as a result of my survival. I promised her, in the event that we were not liberated by the 6th of the 5th, my birthday, we agreed to die together. And were I to get through this unending hard time unscathed? Had not dear God protected me often enough?
In the beginning of April, there was a heavy night raid, during which our district had been pre-targeted in particular with ‘Christmas trees’. With the dropping of this many bombs, our living room wall also collapsed, which for me meant changing my accommodation as quickly as possible. In the morning, at 5 o’clock, I started to go to Schöneweide to Niesa. This accommodation I had already prepared, in the event the wall to our house collapsed, as through it our neighbour, the Nazi, had, of course, a clear view.
Herr Niesa was politically disadvantaged, had also been imprisoned at the beginning of the Third Reich, but as he was ill, he was only under police supervision. Moreover, as a Mechanic, he was particularly necessary. My route to him was particularly dangerous, often enough there were checks and I had to hide.
At 7 o’clock, I had arrived and time and again had to go into the wardrobe when anyone came.
One morning, towards the end of April, the SA came to get Herr Niesa. Admittedly, it only concerned trenchwork, but how many had already been shot doing it? Initially, he wanted to flee, but his wife persuaded him well that he would put us all in danger, when they would search the apartment and find me in the wardrobe.
With thanks to God, he came back in the evening. A camp was prepared for me now in the cellar, behind boxes and junk, where I spent a further 8 days. The Russians came ever nearer.
One morning, we heard that the SA in Wuhlheide had hung members of the Landsturm, the Home Guard, who no longer wanted to fight.
The next day, the shelling of Berlin began and Niesa no longer went trenchworking. When the SA came to get him, the women said that he had gone to work in the morning; hopefully nothing had happened to him in the shelling.
It was a lucky thing, for in the night, the bridge was blown up, before which, however, they shot dead all political prisoners, who, beforehand, had to dig their own graves.
On the 28th April 1945, the first Russians came and I could finally leave my hiding place. But, how did I look? Pale, scruffy with a beard! My weight…, 89 pounds! People moved aside aghast, as if confronted with a ghost, when they saw me coming. I, however, was so eternally happy and glad and thanked God for my wonderful salvation.
