1. Index Number : P III d. No.411.
2. Title of Document : Illegal life in Berlin.
3. Date : February 1941 - June 1945.
4. Number of Pages : 4.
Language : German.
5. Author or Source : Gerda Wolf, Berlin-Reinickendorf.
6. Received from : The Wiener Library Archives.
7. Form and Contents : Letter written in April 1946, mostly about the author's underground life with her ‘Aryan’ boyfriend in Berlin, from February 1943 until the day of the liberation, after which they got married, in June 1945.
8. References : ‘Rassenschande’; Illegal life; Mixed marriages; A.E.G., Schöneweide: two years of forced labour under very bad conditions; escape just before the Fabrikaktion.
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Gerda Wolf
Berlin-Reinickendorf-Ost,
Brienzerstr.26.
23rd April 1946
Dear Uschi, how long have I been waiting to be able to write to you again, and how often were you and Feechen in my thoughts, wondering whether you have come through everything alright.
Yesterday Gerhard and I were at Evchen's and heard about your card. You can imagine how pleased we were! I had only just written to Mrs. Tuckert in Oxford and asked her to send me your address, or to forward my letter.
It is a miracle that we are alive and well. These years were unbelievably hard for us, especially the last three, when I went into hiding, and was able to live only illegally in order not to be sent to Auschwitz with the others. How often were our freedom and lives at stake, and by dint of much planning and courage we did it, quite apart from the the bombs in recent years, which wrought incredible devastation on Berlin, and which might often enough have destroyed us too.
I am typing this letter so that it isn't too difficult, and so that you can read it all more easily. Now I will set things out roughly chronologically.
Until February '41 it was still alright at the Silbersteins, even though they were already making difficulties and I had considerable unpleasantness with food ration cards etc. Then in February I got a summons from the labour office and had to work for AEG in Schöneweide in very nasty conditions for two years, with a yellow armband and a lot of harassment and under constant threat from the Gestapo. At the slightest sign of resistance many people were taken away and were never seen again. I always had the feeling that we were sitting on a powder keg and never knew whether we would be able to return home again. The women working with me told me that Jews were being removed from their homes every day and sent into the unknown, and then
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in May 1942 I decided to move out from the Silbersteins and find a place to live where the Gestapo could not find me. I went to Gerhard and we managed to have me live with him for ten months without his landlady knowing anything about it. I went to work in the morning and came back in the evening and I often had to hide in the wardrobe or under the counterpane when she came into the room to talk to Gerhard. I wasn't allowed even to cough. Now imagine a private house in Tempelhof with someone living in every room, and having to go down the stairs when I wanted to go out. The landlady had her rooms downstairs and I had to leave the house early on the dot, as woe betide me if I had got to the factory late. In mid-February 1943 I had the feeling that we in the factory were sitting ducks, and I decided to stop working there and not turn up again, and finally to take off the star I had to wear. But this was a very difficult problem, as I did not know where I could stay during the day when Gerhard was not there. To begin with Gerhard took his holiday, and for a few weeks that made it possible for me. Two weeks after I disappeared the whole workforce was suddenly taken by the SS and sent to Auschwitz. Not a single one of these hundreds of men and women came back. All of them were gassed or otherwise killed in Auschwitz, and my decision saved my life. This action took place on 27th February 1943 and on 1st March, we happened not to be at home, the first big attack on Berlin took place and the roof over our heads was lost. If we had been at home, we would have been killed. You can see how it is all Fate. Then we moved to Reinickendorf to Gerhard's mother, who knew nothing about me, and I stayed unregistered. Of course it it is easy to say, but it did mean that I had no food ration card, and for three years Gerhard had to share his card with me, and that the whole time one tiny error or unfortunate accident meant I could have been recognised and arrested. That would have cost us both our freedom and lives. There were many difficulties and hurdles and we often thought there was no escape any more, and yet we always found another way out. 1943 was an especially significant year. During the night of 3rd-4th September all my belongings went up in flames at Hertling [translator's note: Berlin removals and storage company]and my means of support was gone, and in November Father and Senta died, as I discovered later from Evchen. Of course I did not let anyone from my circle of friends catch sight of me, and always had to take care to stay alert in the street, so that nobody from the factory recognised me. Then in front of Mother we had to lead a completely worry-free and harmless life, as she is bound to have denounced us, if she had had any inkling of our double life. Apart from that she would have died of fear that the Gestapo might discover me and cause her trouble.
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Moreover in the summer of 1943 I received a letter from the Red Cross addressed to me c/o Hanna Galle (Hanna lost her whole flat in the night of 24th/25th November 1943 and was able to rescue only a few things. The whole building burned out and now she is living at Fasanenstraße 48 with another lady), in which I was asked to send you a sign of life. The letter came from London and with no note from you, and as I was already one of the people underground and did not know whether this was perhaps a Gestapo trap, I left it unanswered. Maybe it was a request from you, but I told myself it was less bad for you to remain ignorant of our fate for a little longer, than for me to fall into the hands of these ruffians. In the end Gerhard was called up as well, and we also risked him not going at all. You know, don't you, that this is desertion, and what that means. But we were used to difficult things and dared to do this too. All the time we were ready to defend our freedom and our lives, and we succeeded. Sometimes it all seems to me like a fairytale to reach one's goal after ten years, despite these incredible difficulties. A year ago today the first Russians came to the building and I will never forget the last weeks before Germany capitulated. We could still have gone on the the end, and yet a benevolent Fate saved us fom that. When Berlin was occupied it now meant freedom for us, and then on 9th June 1945 we were married. By doing that we made one thing happen which we would already have done in 1933, had it not been for the “Nürnberger Gesetze” [Nuremberg Laws].
Today we have no possessions, and have a very harsh winter behind us. But when we look back, we are still happy, for we won through in everything. I have never for a moment doubted that this day must come for us!
I am now considered a recognised victim of Fascism, and I also have the prospect of getting my own flat. What I will put in it is still uncertain, but it will all turn out alright. After the Russians marched in, we moved out of my mother-in-law's home straight away, as she had behaved very unpleasantly towards us.
Write to me very soon about your life in these past years. When did you last hear from Lu{x}? If our stepmother writes to you, Evchen hinted as much, leave her in the dark about me, as I have no wish to resume relations in that quarter. From Evchen's card I see that you and Feechen are well and happy. Give thanks to your Maker that you left for England in time in 1938,
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for I truly believe you would not have been able to save your life and that of your child here. An incredible amount has happened.
Much love and kisses to you and Feechen from
your Gerda
Does Feechen still remember?
Translation: Jenifer Ball, July 2023
